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Joke of the Day

"I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years party... When you hear an arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."

"I like my coffee like I like my women Sent back for not being hot enough"

"Saw a sign on the highway that said ""Kill or Injure a Road Worker: $7,500"" but it doesn't tell me where to pick up the money..."

"I am a male who goes through monthly week long periods..... of unrest while my wife is on her menstruation cycle."

"Why did Tigger look in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh."

"What do you call a cow that's made out of glass? Steer Clear."

"My CW just barked. Ok, it may have been a burp, but I'd like him a lot more if he were turning into a dog, so I think he barked."

"A nun was kidnapped No offence but she was asking for it. Nun taken."

"911: Whats ur emergency? ""OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-"" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- ""-of my sons mouth."""

"[OC] where did the cavemen live? Neandertown!"