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Joke of the Day

"I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years party... When you hear an arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."

"What's the name of a Korean cook book? 150 ways to wok your dog"

"After being an atheist for so long, I am now a catholic. Idk. I just really like cats"

"9 out of 10 therapist agree to just be yourself The other one realizes that's what got you into this shit in the first place."

"The 1st rule of idiom club is loose lips sink ships. The 2nd rule is don't let the cat out of the bag. Last but not least, the 3rd rule."

"I asked my girlfriend if she wanted 5 guys for lunch. She told me she's never tried 5 guys, but she's done 4."

"Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a container of yogurt? A: Yogurt has culture."

"How do you get to a position of power in a science lab? Work over time"

"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn."

"I had a terrible nightmare last night that I ate a muffler. Today, I'm so exhausted."