15369

Joke of the Day

"After being an atheist for so long, I am now a catholic. Idk. I just really like cats"

"A blind guy walks into a bar... ...then a table, then a chair, then another chair..."

"Why aren't there any asprins in the jungle? The parrots-eat-em-all."

"Guys are probably not very good at Yoga, mainly because every move for them would be called "" The uncomfortable Sausage"""

"""Asphyxiate' would be worth like a million points..."" I thought to myself as I lay choking on a Scrabble tile."

"What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd!"

"My epileptic son loves our new Christmas tree. You should see how excited he gets when we turn on the lights."

"Coworker: It'll either work or it won't. Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes."

"What's the difference between a weatherman and a well-hung dick doctor? One's a meteorologist and the other's a meaty urologist."

"My grandfather had his tongue shot off in the war. We could never get him to talk about it."