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Joke of the Day
"Today I bought cupcakes without sprinkles. Diets are hard."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13."
"crisis in the morning, crisis in the evening, crisis at suppertime. in an indifferent universe, you can have an existential crisis anytime!"
"Me and My wife wrote the best articles on how to create a successful marriage I would have published it but she took half of it in the divorce settlement."
"""Let's blast some Jack Johnson and call each other Broseph and dump our girlfriends with a text."" -Dudes who wear salmon colored jean shorts"
"The Chinese stock market... >Is the safest market in the world, the most transparent market, the least fluctuating market, the most democratic market."
"How does Sean Connery shave? Ctrl+esh"
"Don't make fun of a retarded dwarf it's not big and it's not clever"
"Jewish kid A Jewish kid walks up to his dad and asks, ""Dad can I have 15 dollars?"" And his dad says, ""TEN DOLLARS! What do you need five dollars for?"""
"How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Twelve, you got a problem with that?"