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Joke of the Day
"How does Sean Connery shave? Ctrl+esh"
Next Joke
"How do teachers teach safe sex in the south? put a hood on your klan member"
"[takes e-cig from guy beside me & takes a hit] dude, your e-cig is broken GUY BESIDE ME: give me back my clarinet"
"I met my statistics teacher at the store today... What are the odds!"
"""Umm, what are you doing? Can you not? Seriously, get off me!"" - The first horse ever ridden (probably)"
"Here's one you might know... There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his dream had come true."
"Did you hear the joke about the alarm? No? It doesn't ring a bell?"
"Thank god for smart phones I was getting tired or reading the back of shampoo bottles while in the bathroom"
"A blind hooker tried to give me a BJ once she said I had the biggest penis ever. I said ""Ha, you're pulling my leg"""
"Nothing says you're worth more than $25 but not quite worth $50 like a $40 gift certificate."