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Joke of the Day

"My best friend was talking to me about proposing to his girlfriend. I'm not sure though, she's not really my type."

"Why do bald guys have holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair."

"I saved a girl from getting raped today I stopped chasing her"

"I'm sitting in a bar, minding my own business, when a guy yells in my ear, ""I'm gonna fuck your mother!"" I turn around and say, ""go home dad, you're drunk again."""

"I've been going to the gym for 3 weeks now with no results.. What Pokemon do I use to lose weight?"

"Passengers clapping when my plane lands makes me almost wish we had crashed."

"""You must be out yo damn mind"" = your behavior is very unorthodox and very contradictory towards my wishes"

"What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut."

"Your body is a temple. Congrats on the expanding congregation!"

"How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he's been down? He keeps a log"