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Joke of the Day
"elder master! someone took a crap in the village's water supply! ""well, shit!"""
Next Joke
"Why is it illegal to commit suicide? You aren't allowed to damage the government's property."
"ants can carry up to 5000 times their body weight?? pfft. watch this- *goes to stomp an ant but it grabs me & slams me thru a picnic table*"
"My wife asked, ""How do cheese strings work?"" I started to laugh, but then I stopped. How do cheese strings work?"
"Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5 and 6 come before 1, 2 and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."
"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 Victims, they went through 38 stories in 10 seconds"
"""Women are crazy!"" ""Did one try to murder you unprovoked?"" ""No I just disappeared from her life with no notice & she went all PSYCHO on me."""
"Why did the chicken and the freemason cross the street? To get the Yolk Rite."
"*turns on notifications* Notifications: I have a boyfriend"
"54% of IKEA purchases end in divorce."