146322

Joke of the Day

"Yo mamma so dumb..... That she climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side."

"I like my coffee like I like my men Black and shot twice"

"I put the short word in the slightly longer word."

"How do you prepare for a party in space? You Planet Thanks u/BostonCentrist"

"Asked to switch seats. I wanted to switch seats on the plane last week because of a crying baby. The stewardess said no... just because it was my baby"

"My youngest brother told me this one, he laughed for hours afterwards. What's worse than being a butt-half? Being a butt-whole!"

"13: Dad, do you believe in miracles? Me: Do you remember spray painting my car? 13: yeah M: Are you breathing? 13: yeah M: Well, there ya go"

"Like the man who has run out kleenexes... this is bound to come in handy!"

"What did the alien say to the gardener? Take me to your weeder."

"*checking out of Hotel California* You can check-out any time you like ""Okay yes, now"" But you can never leave! ""Ugh where's your manager"""