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Joke of the Day

"How many men does it take to open a beer? None it should be open when she brings it to you"

"The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off"

"Back in my day, we didn't have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums."

"Pal: On your date, go to a French restaurant. And remember! Girls love a wine connoisseur. Later... Me: we'll both have the wine connoisseur"

"A world renowned chef undercooked the meat It was a rare misteak"

"What did the Vegetarian say when he wanted to eat meat? ""Going vegetarian was a missteak"""

"What does a kangaroo and a banana have in common? They both can't ride a bike."

"Why do elephants where pink shoes? To hide in the grass. Have you ever seen an elephant with pink shoes? No? Good hiders, aren't they?"

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, no nose, and no ears? Still no ideer."

"I found girl lying on railroad tracks. I untied her, took her into bushes and we had great sex. No head, though. I never found it."