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Joke of the Day

"I'm fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes."

"When I see someone's name trending on twitter, I used to be afraid they died. Now I'm afraid they're a Republican presidential candidate."

"Does anyone want to buy a broken yo-yo? No strings attached"

"All dick jokes are essentially the same they just vary in length."

"The Venn diagram of ""stuff I was supposed to do today"" and ""stuff I did today"" is two separate circles and the second one is a pizza"

"I'm late to this meeting cause I have a boner and can't get out of my car"

"Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely tweeting faster than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space."

"You sneak into my room, unnoticed; you gently touch one bit of my naked body after the other until you find the most desirable place, then you start sucking. Stupid mosquitoes!"

"What kinda overalls does Mario wear? Denim denim denim"

"I met a French gentleman in the bathroom. How do I know he was French, do you ask? He went oui, oui. Source: my 13 year old brother."