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Joke of the Day

"Does anyone want to buy a broken yo-yo? No strings attached"

"Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide? Because it was too cold out tide."

"A parliament of owls, a murder of crows, a thatsso of ravens"

"Of all the advice given to me over the years, ""There really is no bad time for a beer"" has proved to be the most helpful. Thanks ma."

"Mother Paper Bag: We need to talk. Teen Bag: *removes earbud* What? M: Your father was plastic. T: But - M: It's true. You're a mixed bag."

"A black dude walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bar tender goes ""Awesome, Where'd you get that?"" The parrot replies ""Africa, there's thousands of them there."""

"I yelled ""shotgun"", long before anyone else, but I still got to sit in the backseat. I hate cops."

"""So how did you two meet?"" ""Unfortunately."""

"Did you hear about the plane full of anorexics that crashed? There were no FAT-alities, but everyone felt really, really dead."

"Ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates They'll kill your dog."