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Joke of the Day

"What is a 6.9? A good thing ruined by a period..."

"When your friend tells you she's thinking about adopting and you get really disappointed when you find out she means a human."

"Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car."

"What kind of pants do Bostonians wear? Car Keys"

"If you add enough jalapenos no one will ever know you're a bad cook."

"The police arrested a prostitute in my neighborhood. She was so startled. I guess you could say she was caught with her pants down"

"[someone reading a beautiful poem in german] ME: i have never been more frightened"

"Politics isn't confusing. You have a choice of being screwed by one of two gorillas and one is considerate enough to use lube. Now choose."

"God invented co-workers to remind us that dying alone wouldn't be such a bad thing."

"I bet Eve bit that apple because she knew she was going to get a bunch of clothes out of it."