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Joke of the Day

"Politics isn't confusing. You have a choice of being screwed by one of two gorillas and one is considerate enough to use lube. Now choose."

"My ex wife still misses me BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER"

"What's the worst thing at a bad joke party? The punch lines."

"What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ? Thanks I'll just have a sliver !"

"Every time I eat a cookie in bed, I imagine it screaming ""I'M GONNA CRUMB"" because I have something wrong with me"

"What's the difference between hard and light? I can sleep with a light on."

"Lying on my bed struggling to squeeze into jeans The dog comes in to show emotional support ... followed by the cat, who came to judge."

"I got told off for masturbating at the gun range. We had very different interpretations of shooting from the hip."

"Shouldn't you pet him first? Two guys are in a park and see a dog licking it's nuts. First Guy: ""Damn I wish I could do that"" Second Guy: ""Shouldn't you pet him first?"""

"What do you call the beginning of a porno? Prelude"