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Joke of the Day

"It is tough being a horny pagan with no regular religious holidays... ... because all you can look forward to is getting the Wiccans off."

"I wonder if meat-packing plants charge for services rendered."

"The time machine of tomorrow. Today."

"Before you get all smug about ""science"" ask yourself why no microwave can penetrate the heart of a lasagna."

"Best Blonde Joke Ever What is the funniest blonde joke you've ever heard?"

"My friend had his assignment on plagiarism stolen so he copied mine. He then proceeded to take a course on Nihilism but it ended up not having a meaningful impact on his transcript."

"""How am I driving?"" No seriously, how did I get here. This isn't my car."

"What does Rupert the Bear and Jack the Ripper have in common? Same middle name!"

"[tv interview] did you get upset? ""that *beep* lied to me, she can go *beep* herself"" don't do that. just curse and we will add the beeps"

"WTF!!!!!!!!!!! A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi."