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Joke of the Day

"I was watching Star Wars in English Class And a classmate says ""metaphors be with you"""

"What do you call a woman who thinks she has the best rack in the world? [oc] Boobcocky"

"If he can't build a wall, Trump is going to dig a giant hole at the border and cover it with a welcome mat like it's a Road Runner cartoon."

"My girlfriend found lipstick in my jacket pocket. I told her straight up I was cheating. There's no way that I was going to confess that I sell Avon"

"I'm gonna learn Spanish so I can see if Mexicans make Cuatro de Julio jokes that are just as stupid and unfunny as our Cinco de Mayo jokes."

"Son: what will happen when I die? Me [lowers newspaper]: there'll be a lot of left over sandwiches & then we'll turn your room into a gym"

"After #Brexit, the pound crashed... ...it's down to ten ounces."

"A pirate walks into the bar with a steering wheel in his pants... The bartender says ""hey, you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?"" the pirate responds ""ARGH! it drives me nuts!"""

"How do sheep keep warm in winter ? Central bleating !"

"7: ""Mama, if someone licked the treadmill, would that someone get sick?"" Me: ""Are you the someone?"" 7: ""Maybe"" Holy hell."