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Joke of the Day
"Sorry I haven't returned your text in 3 days, I was taking a nap."
Next Joke
"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he got asked to play in a film about classic composers? I'll be Bach."
"I try to make good food, but it all turns to shit."
"A man went to a Library and asked for a book on homosexuals. ""Go through the back door"" said the Librarian. ""That's the one"" I replied."
"Why did the masochist STOP hitting himself on the head with a hammer ? Because it hurt."
"[flashback to 1st date] *cuts round hole in bottom of popcorn Me: Popcorn? Her: No thanks. (Mom reaches from row behind) ""I'll have some."""
"How do you piss off a gay guy? Fuck his boyfriend in the ass, then wipe your dick on his curtains."
"Height of complement - Lol Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""
"I think I'm failing my marine biology class My grade is below C level."
"What is Mary and Joesph's Favorite Snack? Jeez-its"