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Joke of the Day

"Girl: Mom mom a monster's just bitten my foot off. Mom: Well keep out of the kitchen I've just washed the floor."

"What's balck on the bottom and white on the top? Society"

"My wife and I asked my son who he loves most. He pointed all around. I said he had to choose, then he told us he was pointing at the wifi."

"Why was the blonde nymphomaniac sad after she got her driver's license? She got an F in sex."

"I am so poor I can't even pay attention."

"She discovered that a hung jury is nowhere near as exciting as it sounds."

"Have you ever heard a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Probably not. The P is silent."

"A man with three balls goes to another random guy and tells him: ""you know that together we have 5 balls?"" and the guy replies: ""why, you have only one?"""

"How should a doctor treat a patient with Mesothelioma? Asbestos he can."

"""I'll sleep when I'm bread."" -Dough"