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Joke of the Day
"""I'll sleep when I'm bread."" -Dough"
Next Joke
"People told me girls wait their whole lives to hear a man say ""I do"" Apparently not if the question was ""Do you think I put on weight?"""
"I searched deep in the anals of history and found nothing but shit... Or ""The annals of history are mostly full of shit..."" *maybe that can be an adage or something?"
"A boomerang is just a frisbee for loners."
"When she screams ""deeper!""... ...but you already have a degree in philosophy."
"What do compassion and sex have in common? Without passion it's only cum!"
"So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses..."
"Frankly auto correct, I'm getting really tired of your shirt."
"If you find me dead after tweeting & driving, please hit SEND to get that final thought out there"
"I've noticed... I've noticed, if you're scared of spiders they always turn up in your bedroom. So by using that logic... I'm scared of blonde girls with big boobs."