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Joke of the Day
"""You're a joulepersecond!"" ""Wat?"" ""Exactly."""
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"Keeping busy in prison"
"Why are Boy Scouts such great murderers? Because they leave no trace."
"How did Jack get rich? His bean-stock went up."
"How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout ""Heroes in a half shell."" 3) When a girl yells back ""Turtle Power,"" marry her."
"What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline? A milkshake!"
"""It's gonna taste really good."" - excerpt from the guide What To Expect When You're Expecting Pizza"
"I would love to insult you... but that would be beyond the level of your intelligence."
"A joke for Europe A Greek, an Italian, and a Spaniard go into a bar and have an awesome time, ordering drinks till dawn. So who pays the tab? A German."
"""Daddy, where do babies come from?"" Show him Edna.. [mum stops slicing carrots] *starts violently gagging until a baby slides out her mouth*"