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Joke of the Day
"Finally took that warning on the cigarette pack to heart and stopped littering"
Next Joke
"The more Twitter tells me it's over Capacity, the more I suspect Twitter still loves Capacity and regularly sits outside her house, weeping."
"I just fucked up instant oatmeal like some kind of husband in a commercial."
"Makes eye contact with female. Medusa."
"What's the worst thing about having a huge dick? Trying to hide it under the skirt."
"""Dad, did you ever fall in love with a teacher?"" ""Yes son , with the kindergarden teacher."" ""Then what happened?"" ""Well, your mom caught us and we had to send you to a new school."""
"What's invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey farts."
"Chinese girl for her number I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."
"What do you call the president when he is rolling down a snowy hill? An Obama-nable snowman"
"*leans into microphone* My question is for Salt-N-Pepa. ""Hi"" ""Hey"" Hi.""Push It"" is about takin a dump, right? ""No"" ""Nope"" *hands friend $5*"