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Joke of the Day

"What did Davey Crocket say at the Alamo? ""Where'd all the roofers come from?"""

"Two toasters are sitting on a counter. One toaster turns to the other and says, ""Do you sometimes feel empty?"" To which the other toaster replies, ""OH MY GOD! A talking toaster!"""

"Sorry I declined your Facebook friend request, but I can't have those sideburns popping up in my news feed unannounced."

"what idiot called it ""alphabet soup"" instead of ""times new ramen""?"

"*Murderer points a gun at me* ""You wanna die today"" Me: ""Yeah kinda"" Murderer: *lowers gun* damn, you wanna talk about it?"

"League of Legends Joke Why do Jews suck at jungling? Because they always get executed at the first camp."

"When I was at school, the school bully used to make me rub my head against a giant piece of sandpaper. I was no match for him."

"My wife said that we need to have a talk after my 2 year old goes down for a nap so I filled her sippy cup with Red Bull."

"Why did the brownie get kicked off the baseball team? Because she was a girl."

"What do you get when you combine a black guy and an octopus? nobody knows actually but it will be perfect for picking cotton."