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Joke of the Day

"what idiot called it ""alphabet soup"" instead of ""times new ramen""?"

"Why have the French lost the war? They have to eat a dessert after each meal."

"If there's no God, why are feet naturally shoe-shaped?"

"How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but he'd have to watch Radiohead do it first."

"They say there's a lot of fish in the sea but I can't hold my breath long enough to have sex with them."

"Need to get up early tomorrow so I've set my neighbor's leaf blower for 6 a.m."

"What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed? Joint Family."

"Bacon twice a day keeps a size 34 waist away."

"My friend said he's moving Saturday... I would have offered to help, but where would we move it to- Sunday?"

"If you order a salad in Texas, you get a bowl of ranch dressing with a chunk of iceberg lettuce, 89 croutons & a chicken fried steak on top."