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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my coffee Roasted, ground up, and dissolved in hot water"

"Is it just a coincidence that you turn purple when you choke? skol"

"The first and last person to LIKE this status are the sexiest people in the whole wide world!"

"How to catch a polar bear. Dig a hole in the ice and line it with peas. Then when he goes to take a pea just kick him in the ice hole."

"*Hands girl a card that says Be Mine* Girl: Aw that's so sweet *Pulls out a pickaxe* Me: Come on, do it I need some iron ASAP lady!"

"Don't you say that about Java. Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders"

"I was in a flash mob once. We'd mainly just hold people at gunpoint until they updated their Adobe."

"A gang, with one of the members being called Gus, offers a group of cannibals a fight The leader of the cannibals says, ""Alright then, we'll have your *Gus for garters*!"""

"What is the difference between God and my love life? Some people think God is real."

"Why are black people so tall? Because their knee grows..."