64537

Joke of the Day

"Thursday is that guy who shows up early for the party, with margarita mix and no booze."

"You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that can't be divided by two."

"Velcro What a rip off. Joke by Tim Vine."

"If you go to jail for tax evasion, you are living off taxes for not paying taxes."

"Txt from wife: where r u Me:kitchen Wife:can u feed cat M: I mean garage W:bring in laundry M:bathroom W:clean toilet M: Idaho W:get potatos"

"I get out of awkward dinner party convos by telling people it's my first outing since the psychiatrist declared me unfit to stand trial"

"Q: Why do cats eat fur balls? - A: Because they love a good gag!"

"How do you cut a Emo sandwich? Trick question, it cuts itself."

"My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album."

"I think I might stop cussing and get all religious and shit"