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Joke of the Day

"How do you make an orphans hands bleed? Tell them to clap until daddy gets home"

"I'm going to start an education program aimed at changing kids' reading habits to post-rapture Christian novels. It's called ""no, child, 'Left Behind!'"""

"Charlie Sheen Says He Has HIV... Finally a positive in his life."

"[wedding] Priest: repeat after me Groom: after me P: ... [to bride] is he serious Bride: no his name is gary"

"My greatest fear on Monday is greeting someone and asking someone how their weekend went and they actually telling me every mundane details about it."

"HR: Sir, why is your secretary standing with tens of underwear in hand? Boss: Damn, I asked her to debrief all the interns before the meeting."

"I was going to tell an anal joke butt fuck it."

"I used to rub my hair together when I was stressed... But now I'm dreading the consequences."

"People say I'm a completely different person when I'm drunk so technically I'm proud to say I never cheated before!"

"What did russian judge say to the jury? I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort."