64458

Joke of the Day

"Did you really get a crocodile tattooed around your belly button? -IT'S AN ALLIGATOR KAREN. GOD YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT."

"Worried sick about America's billionaires, you guys"

"How do you make a gay person angry? You tell him you've kidnapped his mother and that you want $5000 for her release, but when he comes just tell him it was a prank."

"I now determine the days of the week based on Twitter. Is it Follow Friday yet?"

"a nativity scene but with a giant burrito instead of a baby Jesus"

"A man walks into a Swedish chemist shop..... ... and asks for some deodorant. The shopkeeper says 'ball or aerosol?' The man answers 'neither, I want it for my armpits."

"What do you call pizza that isn't yours? Impersonal pizza"

"Liberal Congress people didn't get gunned down while a white guy was president. Just sayin'..."

"Why did the blond not come out of the shower? Because the bottle said to lather, rinse, and repeat."

"My jokes should be written on lollipop sticks So you can only see them if you suck as much as they do"