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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally washed a black sock in with my whites and everything came out fine, so I totally get that whole ""I Have a Dream"" thing now."

"Why shouldn't you burn scented candles inside of a Buddhist shrine? Because doing so would be incense-itive!"

"I've been nominated for person most likely to not be nominated for anything."

"If I were Spock, I would spend 24 hours a day saying things like ""get out of my Vulcan face"" and ""are you Vulcan kidding me?"""

"Ice cubes are very badass I mean they float around their own blood"

"Crayola is now doing its color testing on manatees and peta is pissed. Oh The Hue Manatee!"

"there should be drug education for future nerds covering topics like ""chill out. take a drink"" & ""don't be the D.D. for people who hate you"""

"This woman I met last night says she wants a guy who is ""spontaneous and fun"". Yet when I tapped on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it is all panic and screaming."

"Why did the chicken have a seance? To get to the other side"

"Not to brag, but I just got a job as a fitness model... They hired me as the ""before"" picture."