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Joke of the Day
"I've been nominated for person most likely to not be nominated for anything."
Next Joke
"The movies were right about monkeys ruling the world. They came from Baltimore."
"My 4yo son just asked what squirrels eat. I answered nuts. We laughed so hard, hugged, and gave each other a high 5. My boy."
"Marriage should be traditional. As it was in The Bible. Between a man and a rib."
"My friend is 1/8th Jew He's Jew...Ish"
"My left buttcheek fell asleep. I'm Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes."
"What goes round the middle of the Internet? The e-quator."
"What do you say to a woman that has two black eyes? Nothing! You already told that bitch twice. (Yeah...I know. It's horrible, but I just couldn't help myself.)"
"Netflix is red, Xanax is blue. Put them together for a fun afternoon."
"I kept hitting my fingers while trying to nail a sign to my wall... So I said, ""Screw it!"""