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Joke of the Day

"Why don't they allow lesbians to play baseball? When they get to third base they think they've scored"

"What do you get when you cross an octopus with a black person? I don't know either, but it would be great at picking cotton."

"People, today, I met and chatted up a super-hot stripper at Walmart. Sorry, there's no punch line - I'm still too shocked to write one."

"thats one giant leap for mankind, and also a giant leap for puppies. scruffy keep your helmet on"

"Job interview: ""What's your greatest weakness?"" ""Honesty."" ""I don't think honesty is a weakness."" ""I don't give a fuck what you think."""

"With Murray testing free agency maybe the cowboys should pick up both Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson on the cheap! They would be a good one two punch!"

"[grocery store] Me (chewing): why are these grapes expensive Cashier: We know ppl eat them before they pay Me (still chewing): well I never"

"My father told me that I should condition more and shampoo less I told him to stop getting in the shower with me"

"What's Bigfoot's favourite exercise in the gym? Sasquats"

"I haven't cleaned my car in so long that I still have paper maps in my glovebox"