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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to make a lame pun thread about fish. But its not the right time or plaice."

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? I can't marmalade my dick down your throat."

"What do cat actors say on stage ? Tabby or not tabby !"

"I'm pretty excited about my new band When I asked the record exec whether he thought our song would be popular, he told me it would be off the charts!"

"The world seems like a beautiful place until you realize that there isn't one thing that hasn't been shoved up a butt."

"Oh, elderly neighbor: You defeated Hitler, yet you somehow can't figure out the car alarm?"

"Why don't you ever see Michael Jordan at Wimbledon? Only whites allowed"

"If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test?"

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? because Jewish women won't accept anything unless it has at least 20% off."

"Me: how was your date? Friend: I ruined her panties. M: Wow that's hot man. F: No she got food poisoning from my cooking, bro."