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Joke of the Day

"A National Treasure where Nicholas Cage has to find the model number on a 15 year old dishwasher."

"Being an adult means I'm in charge of my own bedtime, and I've realized I'm not equipped to handle that responsibility."

"The beauty of meditation is it helps instill inner peace in someone that makes it easy to pick his pockets."

"Why didn't Thor like the party? It was too Loki."

"[NSFW] I remember the first time I said the work ""fuck"" and my dad heard me... He walked into my bedroom door and I said: ""Dad, go away. I'm trying to fuck in here"""

"How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but he'd have to watch Radiohead do it first."

"Knock knock who's there Jo Jo who? Jo moms!"

"I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago... ...and so far, all it's been doing is gathering dust."

"Girl, if you were a camel, I'd hump you!"

"Condoms. I can't wrap my head around them."