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Joke of the Day

"Why is it called a ""litter"" of puppies ? Because they mess up the whole house !"

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"[my funeral] PRIEST: dearly beloved... *respectful silence from guests* PRIEST: ...and steve ME FROM INSIDE COFFIN: lmao get roasted steve"
"What's long and hard and makes women groan? An ironing board."
"What's the best remedy for a sex starved drug addict? A jack and coke."
"I think some of you need an exorcism not an intervention."
"My therapist said I need to stop listening to Ke$ha on my iPod and start acting my age. So I bought Ke$ha on vinyl. Tik Tok."
"What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't walk around thinking he's Bono."
"A group of dogs walk into a University. They approach the receptionist who says, ""Hi, can I help you?"" ""Yeah,"" one of the dogs reply, ""We wanna see our Masters."""
"Calling someone ""stupid"" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it's just a diagnosis."
"Why did the Jedi kill his master? To get to the other side. ...Told by my brother last night"