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Joke of the Day

"I once dated a girl who got in a car accident and lost her whole left side. Shes all right now."

"Why are refugees bad at math? They refuse to integrate."

"Why will Trump become President? Because of his Trump card."

"I'm 28 years old, but in marriage years, I'm already dead."

"What's pink and sits on a piano chair? Elton's John"

"Just goes to show, you're never to old to try new things. My nan starting running when she was 65, she's 71 now and we've no idea where she is."

"Is your refridgerator running? Because I would rather fucking vote for it than these candidates"

"Whats rectangular, white and blue?.... A fridge with a denim jacket on. HA!"

"Can someone just tell me which guy Bridget Jones ends up with? I keep killing myself before the end of the movie."

"Hillary Clinton has been so embarrassed about her email scandal that if elected she will bring back the secure channels of communication she used growing up... the pony express."