63614

Joke of the Day

"A daughter goes to her Jewish father and asks for $20 The father replies ""$10, what do you need $5 for?"""

"Found a bag of weed in my son's bedroom, absolutely horrified! The thing was practically all stems and seeds."

"They say, ""If you let something go and it comes back, it's yours"" Then does that mean I own all boomerangs?"

"Little girl: ""Mommy, I want to be a feminist when I grow up."" Mom: ""Well pick one sweetie, you can't do both."""

"Did you hear about the bloke who tried to kiss his girlfriend in the fog and mist."

"I dont't want to die a virgin because that means I'll have to have sex with terrorists."

"You know youre fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards."

"All of my best ideas involve jail time."

"I left my adderall in my Ford Fiesta. Now it's a Ford Focus."

"What were the polite Egyptians running away from? DaRUDE Sandstorm"