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Joke of the Day

"I just invented a new catch phrase What's yer Rush Limbaugh? Get back to me immediately and tell me if you love it or just like it."

"Hockey joke Turnovers are like ex-wives; the more you have, the more they'll cost you."

"What is the difference between an onion and a hooker? I always cry when I cut an onion"

"LAWYER: ur dad's estate ME: who called it executing a will instead of splittin heirs L: he said if u made a dumb joke u get nothing M: shit"

"Why do high school girls always travel in odd numbers? Because they can't evennn..."

"10yo: When in doubt, albatrout. Me: What the hell is albatrout? That's not real. 10yo: Now you're in doubt! Me: But... 10yo: ALBATROUT"

"I don't want your undivided attention. I want your multiplied attention. Make clones of yourself and give me all of their attention too."

"Me: Do not 'K' me again. Daughter: Que Me: In any language. Her: Si This is why I'm crazy."

"My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full."

"So apparently Garry glitter has gone down, ON LITTLE GIRLS HAHEHHEHEE (heat plz)"