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Joke of the Day

"""I'll have what she's having."" "" Sir, this is a gynecolo-"" ""Shhhh.. *puts finger over Dr's lips* I said I'll have what she's having."""

"I'm thinking of becoming Hispanic just for the upside-down exclamation point. I like what you guys did there. I'm jealous."

"You're not cool if you have to tell people you're cool. I'm looking at you, Cool Whip."

"What did zero say to eight? Nice belt!"

"I got an e-mail saying 'At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!' I thought, ""That's just spam."""

"Did do hear about the part of my house that died from a drug overdose? He was an attic"

"What do you call a virgin redneck? A 7 year old who can run faster than her brothers."

"I had an ant bite my penis today. it feels like a little prick."

"Keep clam. I'm dyslexic."

"This homeless man was shaking his cup at me with some change in it. Yeah i get it, you have more money than me. Quit it."