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Joke of the Day

"whats the difference between Congress and a condom? You can only fit one dick in a condom."

"I just came in from ________ and boy are my ________ tired. Taco Bell, Bowels"

"When man made the first stone tool 2.6 million years ago, I don't think they could have ever imagined a tool as great as Donald Trump."

"Why was the magnet seeing the Psychiatrist? Because it was bipolar."

"Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way"

"I'm going to start a grocery store to compete with Food Lion I think I'll call it Nourishment Cheetah"

"How does the moon cut his hair Eclipse it"

"When I was in high school my girlfriend's dad got angry that I took her virginity. I said ""Sorry, it won't happen again."""

"they say running is addictive, that's why i don't do it, i'm afraid i'll end up in a fitness gym alley offering sex for treadmill time."

"Oh your boyfriend proposed? Well I just realized my new dress has pockets, so I think it's obvious who's having a better day."