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Joke of the Day

"What did Mario say when he found out he got drunk and had sex with a green mushroom? ""Well, I fucked that one up."""

"What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead - I'll just hang around."

"Only 4 days left to use this joke I hate it when people ask me where I see myself in 5 years time. I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

"Why I'm leaving /r/jokes I have to go to work. I'll be back later."

"I don't need a girlfriend, I can just play Pokemon Go The servers go down on me every day"

"[during dinner on a date] ""I'm currently in university"" how long is your degree? ""normally a year, but I have dial up, so probably 2"""

"What they say: ""Hey, have you lost weight?"" What they mean: ""Hey, I remember you being a lot fatter. What gives?"""

"How much did the critic tip the waiter? Two cents"

"Collection Litter by Phil D Basket"

"POKER ANIMALS Q: What animal should you never play cards with? A: A cheetah!"