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Joke of the Day
"Why did the jalapeno put on a sweater? Because he was a little chile"
Next Joke
"How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife? Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes."
"did you hear about the flying German pancakes in WW2? they were in the luftwaffle!"
"Which antivirus program does a pirate use? [Avast](http://www.avast.com/), ye mateys!"
"If ur a guy riding on a motorcycle with another guy, it's best to sit facing each other. 1 man mounted behind another that just looks bad"
"What's the difference between a pig and a ham sandwich? You can get a prosecutor to indict the ham sandwich."
"""I heard you have unlimited breadsticks?"" Sure do, table for 1? ""Quack!"" Wait a second *trench coat falls, family of ducks run away*"
"What's the best thing about blowjob? A moment of silence..."
"I bought a pair of sneakers from my drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!"
"On November 9th... Me: ""I guess President Hillary Clinton is with VP Tim Kaine now. And both feeling pretty high. You could say she's ....co-Kaine! Hahah!"" Wife: ""Trump won."" Me: ""Shit..."""