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Joke of the Day

"Happy New Year Reddit! Just Kidding you really came for my cake day! Happy 1 Year Reddit"

"A joke to keep with the fasting theme A homeless man approaches a rich Jewish American princess and beseeches her, ""I haven't eaten in three days!"" Her: ""Force yourself"""

"What do you call a bar in Star Wars? A space bar."

"Vending machines are so homophobic. I'm sorry my dollar is not straight enough for you."

"They're remaking Ocean's 11 with an all-female cast and it's gonna be called Ocean's 8 It's that damn wage gap I tell ya!"

"OBAMA: your resume says you think of the ""best nicknames?"" ME: that's right, Obama-nable snowman *finger guns* OBAMA: [softly] holy shit"

"A guy walks into a bar... Alcoholism is slowly destroying his family."

"Why did the cat join the Red Cross ? It wanted to be a first aid kit."

"Playing guess the animal with 4yo. 4: it looks like a tiger. Me: a lion? 4: no. Me: leopard? 4: no. Me: i give up 4: it's a tiger"

"Why I don't watch science documentaries with my mum. Man on TV: Microwaves travel at the speed of light Mum: Fuck me, that's impressive. Microwaves are heavy."