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Joke of the Day

"Which antivirus program does a pirate use? [Avast](http://www.avast.com/), ye mateys!"

"Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years."

"Nurse: Would you like an appointment for next week? Patient: No I'm sick now."

"""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" generally mean the same thing... ...except at funerals."

"CRUEL JOKE What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer."

"Hot chick at the bar just said that she's gonna do something stupid tonight... ...I informed her that I only had a 1.75 GPA in high school."

"Whoa. The house telephone thingy just rang. Couldn't remember what to do so I stopped, dropped and rolled."

"God took a paternity test He found out he was the father, the son and the holy spirit."

"Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? She knows she's given her last blow job."

"What is a vampires favorite drink? ."