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Joke of the Day

"""I heard you have unlimited breadsticks?"" Sure do, table for 1? ""Quack!"" Wait a second *trench coat falls, family of ducks run away*"

"FRIEND: hey while I'm on vacation can you come over and feed the cat? ME: FRIEND: ME: to what?"

"I can't believe it's almost 2012 & there isn't a prenatal test to find out if you're gonna have one of those kids who's really into magic."

"If God had an iPhone, like 8 of the 10 Commandments would have typos in them."

"What is the difference between a chihuahua humping your leg and a pit bull humping your leg? The pit bull gets to finish."

"I'm bored. Who wants to fall in love with me until they find someone better?"

"What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders"

"Why You Need Insurance by Justin Case"

"Did you hear about the vampire at the circus? He went straight for the juggler"

"42 percent of statistics are made up!"