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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? Kanye"

"Me: Someone broke into the business next door last night. Coworker: Wasn't the building alarmed? Me: Buildings don't get scared. CW....."

"I once met a detective who would copy drawings of penises in his spare time. I think his name was Dick Tracey"

"He died doing what he loved: telling me I'm overreacting."

"I've been arrested for robbing a bank dressed as a frog. It's the first time I've ever kermitted a crime."

"One guy says to another Guy 1: Dude one time I stuck my dick in a brownie Guy 2: Bro that's just wrong Guy 1: Yeah, I know. You can do time for statutory."

"This morning I was at the atm when an elderly woman asked if I could check her balance So I pushed her over"

"So the Pope joined twitter so he can ""Reach out to a younger generation."" He is certainly not the first Catholic to have done that."

"So a photon checks into a hotel... Bellman says ""Sir may I take your bags?"" Photon replies ""Nah... I'm traveling light"""

"It seems to me that only reposts make it to the front page nowadays."