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Joke of the Day

"So the Pope joined twitter so he can ""Reach out to a younger generation."" He is certainly not the first Catholic to have done that."

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? It was two tired."

"Interviewer: ""I heard you were extremely quick at math"" Me: ""yes, as a matter of fact I am"" Interviewer: ""Whats 14x27"" Me: ""49"" Interviewer: ""that's not even close"" me: ""yeah, but it was fast"""

"Did you hear about the clumsy thief who stole sculptures of famous people's heads? He eventually got busted."

"How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him."

"My friend phoned me up at three in the morning. He said, ""Can you pick me up from the bar?"" I said, ""No mate, my arms aren't that long."""

"I order so much Chinese food the delivery guy must think I'm a middle aged divorced homicide detective in an 80s movie."

"1938: ""It's a bird!"" ""It's a plane!"" ""It's... Superman!"" 2013: ""Is that a drone?"" ""Yeah, it's probably a drone."""

"My boyfriend is not gay!! So please next time you see him with some girls dnt come telling me."

"Women on their period always ovary act. *insert pun here*"