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Joke of the Day

"Me: Someone broke into the business next door last night. Coworker: Wasn't the building alarmed? Me: Buildings don't get scared. CW....."

"Q: What has dual airbags and has lots of room? A: The White House."

"Stop screaming! I thought you'd appreciate having someone to pass you a towel when you got out of the shower"

"Going to the gym is such a great workout. I never actually enter the building, but the walk there is nice. Sometimes I even walk back."

"Yet another yo mama joke Yo mama so fat that when she hauls ass it takes her 2 trips."

"When I order pizza online, in the ""Special Instructions for the Driver"" box, I put ""Tell me I'm a pretty princess"". And they do. And I am."

"[on date pretending not to be a dung beetle] Date: What's your favourite meal? Me: Poop Date: What? Me: SOUP, I like eating soup"

"If all the Domino's employees in the world held hands, you'd have to make your own pizza."

"What did Chris Brown say to Rihanna the first time he saw her? I'd hit it"

"I carry a knife whenever I'm running late to work because that's what Counterstrike taught me: ""You always run faster with a knife""."