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Joke of the Day

"Me: Someone broke into the business next door last night. Coworker: Wasn't the building alarmed? Me: Buildings don't get scared. CW....."

"First came up with this joke when I was 5 and it's still the funniest thing I've ever said. Q. What do you call a line of Barbies? A. A Barbecue!"

"The quickest way to avoid a conversation on Facebook is by clicking like."

"Someone should make a food app that connects to your bank account and only lists restaurants you can afford, could call it Welp"

"What kind of flooring does a Mexican fit? Underlay! Underlay!"

"I have so much uneaten hummus in my refrigerator, it's borderline racist."

"If we get matching tattoos I want them on the elbow because weenus together."

"HUH? Why did the farmer sell his frog leg ranch? He found out it was a 'rough toad to hoe.'"

"How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?"

"My face is very symmetrical...over the x-axis :("