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Joke of the Day

"I found a spider in my protein powder today I politely asked him to get out of my whey."

"Heard my ex tell one of his friends I was a stalker. Almost made me mad enough to come out of his closet and give him a piece of my mind."

"On second thought this ""Thug's Life"" tattoo probably shouldn't have been done in Comic Sans."

"Why do people with no arms have difficulty remembering? Because they can't put their finger on it."

"A blonde walks into a library... ba dum tss thank you, thank you"

"To impress women by coming across as a bit of a bad lad, I always tell them I'm in human trafficking. Which isn't a total lie as I'm a lollipop man."

"I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey But I turned myself around"

"[At Adele Concert] Adele: Hello from the other siiiiiide Me (shouting): Tell us your surname"

"The sign down the highway said ""Don't be a turkey, don't text and drive"" They misspelled vegetable."

"What's the difference between Victoria Taylor and Arnold Schwarzenegger? One was fired, the other was terminated"