30246

Joke of the Day

"I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey But I turned myself around"

"If someone calls you fat... Just turn the other chin."

"I am a bit disappointed by the slow cooker I got for Christmas I was hoping for a fast maid"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the P is silent."

"It's hard telling how many Kleenex I've fathered."

"Just saw a 13 year old kid reading an actual newspaper. I stopped and asked of he was okay, and if he'd lost his phone."

"Me: I hate all of the trash jokes in this sub. Friend: They're not trash, they're *recycle*."

"What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? (x-post from /r/3amjokes) [It's pasture bedtime!](http://www.reddit.com/r/3amjokes/comments/1y8d67/what_did_the_mama_cow_say_to_the_baby_cow/)"

"What do you call a short psychic who hasn't yet been apprehended? A small medium at-large?"

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar... The bartender asks ""Want something to drink?"". Decartes replies ""I think not"", and disappears."