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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Ethiopian squatting to take a shit? A bragging son of of a bitch."

"I checked my phone while I was mowing the lawn and now we don't have a garden."

"A Priest, a Homosexual, and a Pedophile walk into a bar... And he orders a beer."

"What does ISIS want for Christmas? Turkey, apparently."

"What do you get when you order a JFK? An americano with an extra shot"

"We should have known Communism would fail. There were a lot of red flags."

"""and god said LET THERE BE BUTTS and there were butts nice warm jiggly butts everywhere on every human"" - me 2:16"

"Interviewer: Any special skills? Me: Eclairvoyance. Him: I don't understand. Me: There's a box of donuts in your desk Him: YOU KNOW TOO MUCH"

"How many mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one."

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS."