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Joke of the Day

"Why are urologists selfish? Because they're all about number one"

"(after bedtime) 3:DADDY COME INTO MY ROOM! Me: go to sleep. 3:YOU HAVE TO COME IN BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR YOU M: yes you can 3:NO I CAN'T"

"I bought some super sensitive condoms a few months ago and they won't stop crying because I don't use them."

"A joke my 4 year old nephew made up. (It makes no sense, but still made me laugh.) If the three legged turtle crosses the road what color is the rabbit? Green! Because Space Jam was a good movie."

"When someone has a baby, I'm just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with"

"Two snowmen in a field, one turned to the other and said ""I don't know about you but I can smell carrots!"""

"Did you hear about the blind Rabbi in charge of circumcision? He got the sack!"

"And in that moment, the Ninja Turtles realized that in a way, ALL teenagers are mutants."

"Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus. Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus."

"What's the main difference between Kim and Robert K? Robert didn't get a famous black guy off all by himself ..."