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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend is watching Glee voluntarily and tapping his foot and smiling. That makes me a lesbian now, right?"

"How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They don't believe in a higher power."

"I used to think I had an ass that prison inmates would die for, now, I don't know."

"Why should you always take two Mormon's fishing? Cause if you take one, he'll drink all your beer"

"Maybe money can't buy Happy but it can probably buy Dopey at a good price."

"The baby in the car next to me is either unable to control his arms or hes throwing me gang signs. Im not taking any chances. *locks doors*"

"What do you call unleavened cheese? Matzahrella"

"I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said -Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?- -Yes officer but I wasn't going to be out that long.-"

"You can't run through a campground You can only ran, because it's past tents."

"I used to have a problem choking on my food all the time Now I only eat cheerios and life savers"