55564

Joke of the Day

"Why should you always take two Mormon's fishing? Cause if you take one, he'll drink all your beer"

"I was walking down the street one day and saw a young black man carrying a bike... And thought to myself ""is that mine?"" Then I remembered no. Mine's at home doing the dishes."

"I'm going to make a calendar of sexy Islamic extremists I will call it, Ji-hotties"

"Police Officer: ""Turn around!"" Me: *sings* ""Every every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round..."""

"So apparently Curiosity, a Mars rover, found something resembling a mouse... If Mars is suffering from a mouse infestation it's probably because Curiosity killed the cat."

"Why was no at the Premature Ejaculaters' support group when I arrived? I came early."

"ROOMMATE: While I'm away, can you get some mice to feed my pet snake? ME: Sure [later] ME [to mice] Come on fellas, pls just cook something"

"Several ducks were found dead in a playground. Police are suspecting fowl play."

"""that's me in the corner."" - r.e.m. explaining how facetime works"

"A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, ""Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage?"" The photon says, ""No thanks, I'm traveling light."" Edit: Yaaaaay front page of jokes."